Sharing joy and pride
Psychotherapy is sometimes seen or thought of as lonely and solemn journey. You might feel self-stigma or stigmatized for seeking out therapy. You might feel that facing yourself and your fears is a serious endeavor. Indeed, when your life is on the line, it’s important to take your mental health very seriously.
That said, taking mental health seriously doesn’t have to mean being solemn and it especially doesn’t have to mean being alone. Painful experiences wax and wane in their intensity. Even during grave illness, there are opportunities for lightness and there are opportunities for joy.
When you’re experiencing anhedonia, your loss of interest in activities that you usually find pleasurable may be so jarring to you that it is hard to be present with small moments of joy, contentment, or a sense of calm. When you join a community of people committing to improving their mental health like you are, the ability to share your journey will help you notice the details of your successes more vibrantly.
Pride is delight or elation arising from an act, possession, or relationship. The major shift I want you to make is away from mere understanding that you have to work on your mental health, with force, with pressure, with seriousness. I want you to be elated by the way you get to grow.
I want you to look at what was happening yesterday, last month, and last year and say, “Look at me! This is what I do differently now.” I want it to be little things. I want it to be not doing compulsions that no one else sees or not avoiding situations no one else knows about. I want you to care about your relationship with yourself, about your ability to make a commitment to yourself and keep it. I want you to work on it and I want you to feel delight as you see yourself make progress.
It doesn’t matter where you start. It matters how you treat yourself along the way.
No one will remember what you commit to in Community Time except you. (Well, we’ll remember sometimes but not all the time.) That said, knowing that you will come to Community Time and report on what you’re proud of will influence how you treat yourself and what you choose to do. If the community is helping you the way I hope it can, you will feel humble enough to share your smallest next step, safe enough to share when that step is too difficult, and courageous enough to continue trying.
You’ll feel joy hearing other people’s pride too. There are so few environments where people share the details of their suffering, their journey, and their hope. The vulnerability people share in Community Time is a real gift. It feels good to share what you are working on and proud of and it feels good to hear the same from others.
I don’t call it a support group, because while it might be indirectly supportive, it isn’t meant to be a support. In Community Time, everyone in the community is on their own journey. Community Time is meant for the community to share what it’s working on and enjoy that process together. It’s a chance for everyone to feel pride and for everyone to feel joy.