Like learning anything else, your body won’t give you the feelings of confidence until you’ve practiced the actions of confidence.

In the past, you have minimized, disregarded, and avoided your anxious thoughts, sensations, and feelings. Now, you’ll be identifying, labeling, inviting, and even provoking more anxious thoughts, sensations, and feelings. This identifying and labeling process is like learning the alphabet of anxiety. Per the metaphor, you won’t be able to read — that is, do what you care about in the presence of anxiety with skill and grace — until you’ve practiced the basics over and over.

How well any of us manage the pressure to fit in depends a lot on biological vulnerabilities and strengths as well as the demands of the environment at that time.

If you don’t fear a lapse in performance and embrace wherever you are on any given day, your performance in the long-run will be more consistent and more effective.

Fear of evaluation is a complex mix of biological sensitivity to embarrassment, shame, and loneliness plus reactions to previous experiences and cognitive and behavioral responses to your current life.