How to practice mindfulness in everyday life

Even three to five minutes of formal mindfulness meditation can help make you more mindful in everyday life. The mindful cycle of attending, wandering, noticing the wandering, and returning to attend can happen every five to ten seconds, depending on how quickly your mind wanders, when you are doing a mindfulness exercise. Just three to five minutes of practice can be 30-40 repetitions of the mindful cycle. It will prime your mindful muscle and help you access your observing self more readily in everyday life.

So, what do you do when you are stuck in a thought – worrying, obsessing, or ruminating – or you are overcome by a sensation, an emotion, or an urge? Try using a technique called anchoring in the present to bring yourself into a nonjudgmental present-focused state of emotional awareness. This may not mean that your painful experience will pass, but it will not escalate and you will have more awareness of its triggers and its beginning next time.

In everyday life, as you notice a painful internal experience, cue yourself to anchor in the present.

A cue is anything that tells you that you’re starting your anchoring in the present skill. Your breath is always with you and can be a great anchor. You can also use your feet on the ground or any other sensation that grounds you in the present.

Next, do a three-point check. That is, ask yourself:

• What thoughts am I having?

• What sensations am I experiencing?

• What am I doing or do I have the urge to do?

Your three-point check will help you recognize the emotion you are experiencing, be it anxiety, anger, sadness, guilt or any other feeling. The more often you self-monitor and then do three-point checks, the faster you will get at noticing what you feel.

After your three-point check, ask yourself:

• Is my response in line with my present context? Does my response meet the demands of my present moment?

• If my response is anything other than meeting the demands of the present moment, what can I do to change my behavior?

There are always demands in the present moment. Whether it is attending to your work, your family, or the social situation you are in, your effort is to notice what you feel, allow it, and refocus on engaging in your external environment. There are demands in the present moment even when you aren’t in an actively engaging activity. That is, you can watch TV, read something, walk, shower, do the dishes, and brush your teeth mindfully if you notice what you feel and turn your attention to the activity and the sensations it generates.

This can feel time-intensive at first, but will get faster as you practice. Eventually, this process will be:

• What do I feel?

• Am I meeting the demands of the present moment? If not, I return to the present.