How experiences of distress become episodes of suffering

Most people have unwanted intrusive thoughts at one time or another. They try to avoid the thoughts, suppress the thoughts, do something to make the thoughts go away. Most people notice uncertainty in their life and have anxious sensations. Catastrophic thoughts are common. Muscle tension is common. Difficulty sleeping is common. Moments and experiences when people feel worried, lost, helpless or hopeless are all common human experiences.

Experiences of stress, worry, demoralization, uncertainty, and pain become episodes of suffering when you add a pattern of fear, criticism, resistance, and avoidance that becomes its own problem. The pattern of responding to stress of all kinds with avoidance of all kinds leads to subjective distress or functional impairment. We call that episode an emotional disorder.

It may seem like everyone has an emotional disorder these days. It is, in fact, true that overall people have been under more stress in the last several years. Those that didn’t already have good strategies for coping with stress – including curiosity rather than fear and criticism and compassion rather than resistance and avoidance – are now more likely to fall into patterns that become episodes that we classify as disorders.

The increase in suffering in others doesn’t make yours any less real. If you had a life circumstance where you were chronically hungry, and then suddenly no one else had food, you would still be in need of food. You might be more aware of your hunger and it might seem scarier to you. Or, you might compare it to others and feel ashamed or critical about your experience of hunger. Ultimately, you would still need food.

Everyone has underlying biological processes that make mental illness more or less likely. Lately, environmental stress is making those who aren’t particularly biologically vulnerable more vulnerable.

Whether your emotional distress or impairment is primarily biological or environmental or a combination or the two, responding to yourself with courage, curiosity, and compassion is the key to responding well.

Previous
Previous

Strive for experiences, not episodes

Next
Next

Tricked into listening to dread