Compassionate recovery

I can wait for tomorrow. As far as you know today, you have tomorrow. You have the chance to wind down, let go of whatever you are experiencing, fall asleep, and wake up in a new state. Tomorrow is different than today. Your brain and mind will be in a different state and you have the chance to respond differently to whatever shows up.

You might be too sensitized to make a good decision about relating to your anxiety, OCD, or depression well today. It's okay. Do you know what behaviors will make it worse when you are sensitized? Your goal when you are in it is to not make it worse and get to a state where you can respond effectively with a sense of efficaciousness, assertiveness, and hope.

There is a power in delay. Anxiety and OCD are urgent. They want you to respond immediately. Commit to delaying until tomorrow. No googling, no calling or texting for reassurance, no ruminating, no checking or counting. What else do you need to delay until tomorrow? Decide tomorrow if you want to do that same behavior. It feels like it will be stuck forever. Let's see if, when you delay today, it's still stuck tomorrow. It might be. You might have a different attitude towards it because you know that you made it through yesterday. If you made it through yesterday, you can probably make it through today. Every day, you can wait until tomorrow.

There is uncertainty about tomorrow and you have hope because you have uncertainty. Uncertainty could be a threat, but it also could be an opportunity. You don't know that tomorrow won't be better. You might not have the same thoughts. You might not feel as stuck. You might connect with someone in a way that makes you feel less lonely. Your hopelessness is always a feeling, not truth. Challenge your hopelessness by committing to tomorrow.

You can try formal compassionate practices to help yourself get to tomorrow. You can also just make the conditions likely for your body to fall asleep. Trust that since your body has always been able to fall asleep, you'll do it again tonight. Embrace the chance at tomorrow.

Tomorrow is different than today. Your brain and mind will be in a different state and you have the chance to respond differently to whatever shows up.

I'm always one moment from recovery. Shifting your relationship with anxiety, OCD, or another form of psychological suffering happens in moments. They are not life-altering moments. They are just effective moments. It's the moment that you notice that in the past you would have done one thing and now you are doing the opposite. Do that again. Do it a thousand times more. Then, you'll be good. If you feel stuck, you either don't understand what your options are or don't believe that attempting to do something different will actually be helpful to you. Or, both. It can take some time to understand your options, because avoidance can be very sneaky, you've probably been doing certain things for decades, or everybody else in your family does it too. You can't even tell that you could do something different. That's okay. I hope you're not stuck on the idea that taking helpful action towards doing something different won't work for you. That's not true. It just takes time and work. Rather than focusing on all the avoidances you have, focus on the next step and give yourself credit for it. Your self-talk is: This is my next step and it's my path towards recovery. I am always one moment from recovery when I'm on this path.

I'm always one moment from the present. Sometimes your exposure is redirecting your attention to the present moment. You might need to do an exposure and response prevention exercise towards the trigger that makes you feel anxious. That is, you might need to identify an anxiety-provoking situation, go towards it in some way, and surrender to the thoughts, feelings, and sensations you have while going towards it rather than doing something to make them stop. Great. Try that. Also, you might be trying really hard to use exposure to anxiety-provoking situations to make your anxiety go away. Wrong! Don't do that. That won't work. You'll get trapped in a paradox where the more you hope that you're doing something to make anxiety stop, the more anxious you will feel. A lot of the suffering that comes from emotional distress is not situational avoidance, but rather experiential avoidance. You're up in your head about who knows what, rather than in your life where there's messiness and vulnerability and the opportunity for connection. Come down into your life whenever you can. You're always a moment away from it. You can just try it for a second and then go right back into your mind if you need to.